This phrase has haunted me since I heard it on Oprah a few weeks ago. It has a ring of truth about and it may explain so many things that happen in some marriages.
Add to this, the idea that we are products of our environment and often, like a fish in water, may have no concept of how our environment is affecting us. Until we can recognize, understand, envision or verbalize a concept, we cannot really process or address it properly. Until we can step outside of our current situation, we cannot always conceptualize the best solution for ourselves. And, I think we need to do this if we want to make positive and lasting changes in our lives.
What if we, on top of all of this, are living in denial. Do we have clues that we ignore, or is denial such a force in our lives, that what is real and true and honest cannot penetrate the forces of denial. Denial is a survival mechanism. When we no longer need to use this tool, how can we work through to resolve and dissolve it when we don't even accept the fact that we even might be in denial.
In the past few weeks, since I have been attending classes of Mindful Meditation, these thoughts have been swirling around in my head. At least they swirl when I am not actively trying to get away from the incessant chatter in my brain through practicing meditation.
Maybe, once I can weed out some of my useless repetitive thought processes, I will find enough brain space to understand why I married who I married. And, maybe, eventually figure out who, exactly, I am. Then, I can move on to be who I want to be.
Oh there's a lot in that post Marlene! Lots and lots to ponder on. I know where you're coming from (I think). When we get married in our younger bodies we have certain needs and expectations but as we get older our horizons change and we find that we are not necessarily looking at the same landscape together anymore. Should we stick together forever just because we said we would or should we cast off the marriage like an old coat which no longer fits?
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying this is what you are getting at but it is what came into my mind when I read your post.
Blessings, Star
Great post, and interesting concept. There ought to be courses in choosing a mate. Unfortunately, we understand so little about ourselves and our motivation at this age.
ReplyDeleteSo true. We grow and change over time and often don't realize it. Our subconscious plays a huge role in our lives. I think I read in the Law of Attraction that what bothers us most in others is probably what is wrong with us (or something close to that idea) especially if it repeats like a broken record. Just how we can go about recognizing that and changing it, or forgiving it, or even just letting it go, is the big question.
ReplyDeleteIn some cultures, the parents choose mates for their children. I wonder if some sociologists have compared this model with ours to see who has the happier and more fulfilling lives.
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